Alone
by MysteriousWonder102
Summary: Love, loss, breakup, self-harm, suicide and crying. If you are triggered by any of this then please don't read.


**Title: Alone**

 **Words: 1,430**

 **Author: MysteriousWonder102**

 **Enjoy**

 **Warning: This is not a real story please do NOT attempt suicide**

This is well... a story of myself I usually create music cause that's how I escape... I mix my fantasy into my real life... but this time... I'm not going to...

Most of this started back when I was admitted to the hospital, recently diagnosed with extreme depression and severe social anxiety.  
May 20, 2016, I was brought into emergency for self-harm. After a few hours of waiting the doctor took us to the psych ward... or "psych emerg" security guards nearby as well, they were friendly yes very friendly. Another few hours pass and it's clear I'm going to be staying here so I'm all excited thinking that it's all going to be a joy ride. I have my phone so what could go wrong, the only one who kept me sanely in that small room was my boyfriend we don't live in the same city no, I'm in Canada. Him in the states so far apart but we were and we still are closer than anyone could expect from a long distance relationship. He is my world, he kept me alive to this point cause a few months ago I would have ended it all because of my family. But he was there. He called and I put the knife down and fell asleep to his voice saying positive things. He just has that perfect Texan accent I love. But I love him for who he is... not what he looks like but for his personality, for him just being him. Days pass and I'm waiting to get to the unit still, my boyfriend always there but I don't fully rely on him, only cause of him I can stand on my own but I still need him by my side and I always will. On May 24 is finally brought up to the unit, unit 23 I thought it was going to be fun. I fought back when they said I no longer had the right to talk to my boyfriend. But eventually they got me to give in, a few days I stay in bed... crying, hoping I would get out of that hell.

June 14  
Annoying new roommate obsessed with Attack on Titan... kissed me right away when the nurses left our room... short little one, transgender too. I didn't fight back because I would be at fault, nobody would believe that I was trying to stop this person. Later that night I was touched sexually in my sleep... I woke to this but acted asleep knowing I can't do anything, as the aggressive one I would be at fault, it would not be self-defense to the nurses.

June 20  
Still getting worse I hate it and I'm beginning to starve myself, all they want to do is control me. But I'm not some pet, individual work and ANGER management, if I never had this self-taught anger management a lot of people would be dead right now. So I don't need that never has and never will. And the worst part is, is that my birthday is tomorrow.

June 28  
Discharge meeting, finally I can go home. And home is where I want to stay.

A few hours and I are on the couch snuggling one of my cats Sweetpea. I'm happy and I enjoy being home for the first time in a month it's wonderful.

The next few days are good very good in losing weight which is AMAZING for me and I'm super excited for school in a few months new high school... better than the one I was at before, no more bullies cause I'm in a program with other teens just like me.

About a month passes and I'm taken out of my favorite summer camp a day after I get there, I'm devastated at the loss and attempt suicide but again my boyfriend was there so I calmed down. Later that day we have to pack a few things again for a meeting with a place called 'Woods Homes'. Mom leaves and I've left without the love of my life again... I'm trapped again going through the same thing over and over again. No phone again, so it's tough cause my boyfriend promised he would always be here for me, he has probably plotted murders for everyone at this place knowing how difficult it is for me here away from home and away from him...

Another month later its the first day of school and my last day at 'Woods Homes'. Also my first day at home again. The school is amazing it really is... after the breakup it was difficult.

The breakup happened one night. I was having a bad day and he was there... he told me he wasn't feeling okay so I did my usual, I helped him to his feet, I helped him fight the depression. Then his mother texts me. we have a conversation. In the end, I broke up with him because of her... I didn't know she would use my mental disabilities to get in my head... I threaten her the next day cause I was trying to defend myself. Even after the event I and him are close...

Three weeks after the breakup I can't take it anymore so he asks to try again with a relationship knowing it was hard for me to call him "bestie" when I had such strong feelings for him, and he the same feelings for me. We forget about the breakup and continue loving each other secretly. Our bond stronger than ever now. We both know it will never break, our love is strong and we always help each other. I want to plan a trip to see him but I give up... because I know mom will never let me go because she hates me... and since grandma moved to the other province (British Columbia) its been hard...

October 6  
It's my special boy's birthday today... he turns eighteen today (I am eighteen but I am a couple of months older than him). I love him so much, and grandma comes six days from now and I am so happy! My birthday gift to him is drawing supplies and a famous drawing, that was also an art contest submission for the yearbook, he loves the drawing! He wishes to be with me so much but the distance still keeps us apart...

October 27 (today)  
I'm still sick... sore as heck I can barely move without crying in pain. But nobody believes me as I am stuck in bed. When nobody is looking I take at least fifteen sleeping pills and start saying goodbye to everyone. Knowing my life will never get better. I wake a few hours later... depressed my suicide attempt didn't work. And since my boyfriend was at school at the time he could not talk much... he had to go to his car at lunch... to be alone, I texted him later on... yet again... he is the only reason I'm still here... I fight only for him...

If you say for me just to get over my depression, then you don't know what its like. I skipped a lot of things because I'm in a rush right now... nobody believes my pain everyone thinks it's a lie and I'm tired of it, I'm tired of being strong for everyone else when I'm treated so badly by most people. Scars cover my body neck to thighs each one a sign when I lost the emotional battle in my head. I have more to say but my story is boring nobody needs to know about my problems. As a musical artist, I'm always picked on... I've never taken music classes but I'm damn good at creating musical pieces (at least that is what I am told).

 **Information** **About Me (BTW this is not a true story):**

 _ **I am Blossom from the Powerpuff Girls**_

 _ **My boyfriend is Brick from the Rowdyruff Boys**_

 _ **I like music**_

 _ **I am a musician**_

 ** _I am eighteen and my birthday is June 21_**

 _ **My boyfriends birthday is on October 6**_

 ** _This takes place in the year 2119_**

* * *

 ** _Please enjoy and sorry for the short chapter_**


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